How To Play A Dang Good Jury by Timothy Phillips
1. Get some dang sleep the night before! You’re not a dang machine!
2. Eat some dang breakfast the morning of! Lay off the dang sugar and dang caffeine though! And don’t stuff yourself with goo!
3. Dress nice! Nobody wants to stare at you unless you look right! Dang!
4. Warm-up thoroughly before your dang jury! Otherwise your jury will be a warm-up! And nobody wants to listen to you warm-up!
5. Go through your reeds and pick the best dang one! Try em in the dang concert hall, if you can!
6. Don’t be nervous unless you haven’t prepared your dang music! In that case, be nervous all you want!
7. Think the dang music with your brain before you try to play it! Otherwise, it might just sound like a mish mash of nonsense because your head isn’t ready yet!
8. Don’t warm-up too long before your dang jury! You’ll wear yourself out!
9. Think good thoughts about what you’re going to play! If you think of only bad things, bad things will probably happen! Dang!
10. Have some dang fun and BE THE DANG MUSIC!